pur engols

I received an e-mail from a friend and i decided to post it here.

These are excuse notes from parents (with their original spelling) collected by schools from all over the country:

My son is under a doctor's care and should not take P.E. today. Please execute him. ( talaga bang execute?!)

Please excuse Lisa for being absent. She was sick and I had her shot. (shot?!?!)

Dear School: Please excuse John being absent on Jan. 28, 29,30, 31, 32, and also 33. (kelan ba talaga?)

Please excuse Gloria from Jim today. She is administrating. (ano daw?)

Please excuse Roland from P.E. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip. (poor hip)

John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face. (sa face na pala tumutubo ang teeth)

Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part. (anong growing part yun?!)

Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins . (okey, me open viens ba?)

Please excuse Ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels. (at meron ba'ng tight vowels?)

Please excuse Pedro from being absent yesterday. He had (diahre) (dyrea) (direathe) the runs. [words in ()'s were crossed out.] (hay, make up your mind!)

Please excuse Burma, she has been sick and under the doctor.

(under the... who?!)

Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

(ano'ng bust yun?!)

Please excuse Jimmy for being. It was his father's fault. .

(ano yun?!)

My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the Marines. (willing subic rape victim ba ang daughter nito?)

Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well. (breed huh!)

Please excuse little Jimmy for not being in school yesterday. His father is gone and I could not get him ready because I was in bed with the doctor.
(aha! taksil na misis!)